tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7199217912101324196.post948611159705895554..comments2022-10-31T06:07:04.541-04:00Comments on xyquarx: The Worst First Date I Ever HadBillhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07798060265728448086noreply@blogger.comBlogger10125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7199217912101324196.post-10845354835528178472011-02-23T23:10:50.185-05:002011-02-23T23:10:50.185-05:00I've done speed dating a couple of times. I f...I've done speed dating a couple of times. I find that on many occasions dinner dates have paid off with more dates and girlfriends. I got nowhere with speed dating, Apparently I can't get a girl to like me within 5 minutes.<br /><br />That's another reason a first dinner date is better than just meeting for coffee or drinks. I can afford the meals if I pick the restaurant, and it gives me more time to develop a mutual interest.<br /><br />On the internet I post a LOT of pictures, so if she doesn't like the way I look, there won't be any waste of time with her.Billhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07798060265728448086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7199217912101324196.post-87156060623137682752011-02-23T16:28:21.067-05:002011-02-23T16:28:21.067-05:00Grasshoppers and hedgehog meat?! Seriously, are y...Grasshoppers and hedgehog meat?! Seriously, are you brain-damaged?Bret Tallmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01971996209744717530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7199217912101324196.post-14991608041369652222011-02-22T18:59:13.751-05:002011-02-22T18:59:13.751-05:00Jane, my discussion of wine was based on the fact ...Jane, my discussion of wine was based on the fact that certain type of people totally pass judgement on you depending on the wine you drink, and exactly the wines I like are the unfashionable ones.<br /><br />Also, saying that I was focused on what I imbibe and was ignoring her values is wrong -- I bought wine and not beer to appease her. Once she was out of the picture I bought Coors Light, which is totally looked down upon by beer snobs.Billhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07798060265728448086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7199217912101324196.post-55236859727541224102011-02-22T11:34:33.110-05:002011-02-22T11:34:33.110-05:00Several people have emailed me saying I shouldn...Several people have emailed me saying I shouldn't have gone through with the date. I made it clear in the blog that I was going though with it for sheer entertainment value, to see what she would pull in person. A relationship was already out of the question.<br /><br />I am reminded of a friend who went counting cards at blackjack in a small-time casino in Nevada. When the casino realized he was winning, they sent a crooked dealer to deal to him. He realized what was going on, but he kept playing just to watch the guy cheat...<br /><br />As for talking about computers on a date, when you're both programmers, as was the case, it's a completely reasonable thing to talk about.<br /><br />One piece of advice that was good, always talk on the phone first.<br /><br />As opposed to my being able to afford $250 for a date, but it says a lot about a girl if she demands that. Christ, it's only food.<br /> Jane, you're a facebook friend. You saw my post about Rolexes. The cheapest Rolex is $9000. Yes, I could buy one, but if someone spends that much on watch, it says a lot about them, and not all good things. You can get a great watch with a stopwatch, timer, and alarm, accurate to 1 second a month, for $30. If a girl likes you to spend your money on such stupid things as a Rolex, she's going to want constant stupid ostentatious gifts all the time, and you'll waste HUGE amounts of money just to keep her happy. Plus, she's an idiot. It's not worth it.Billhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07798060265728448086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7199217912101324196.post-17233404592789205602011-02-21T20:59:08.852-05:002011-02-21T20:59:08.852-05:00Bill, also, never talk about how much you spend on...Bill, also, never talk about how much you spend on a date or plan to, or almost did. I know you make good money, so what the hell? Allot so much in your budget for "experimentation" and forget about it. Think of all you spent on your education at that topflight California version of MIT. Think of what you spend on dates as investing in finding someone who will share the rest of your life.<br /><br />And Bill, when you're out with a lady, don't talk computers or the Museum of Natural History. Be a little mysterious. Listen to her. Make eye contact. Talk about vacations in Acapulco, moonlight on the beach, sunsets seen from a Greek cliff. Whatever your idea of romance is. And ask discreet questions. Don't put down her her interests prematurely. You don't have to have all the same interests. All you have to have is the same values. <br /><br />Compliment her dress, hairdo, whatever. If she wants a French restaurant, do it without kvetching--you're trying to please her, remember? Ethiopian is esoteric. Sounds like grasshoppers and hedgehog meat & my first thought was "Ewww." Besides, steak is always safe at a French restaurant; they do steak well. And it's easy to say, "No mushrooms." The French do well with fish, too. My favorite at a French restaurant is Moules Mariniere. <br /><br />I think you have to be confident in yourself, and then immerse yourself in finding out about your date and appreciating what she brings to the table. Forget about yourself, your wine preferences, your budget. Relax, tell a joke, tell her she has beautiful eyes. A smart girl can smell out an insecure, self-engrossed, penny-pinching, unromantic guy faster than you can say Hold the Mushrooms.<br /><br />As far as her "weird" voice, there are ways to find out what the problem is. Very discreetly, of course. She may have had esophogeal surgery. She may have been deaf, as you guessed (but then, wouldn't she have told you?) She may have swallowed lye as a kid. Who knows? Next time, phone the girl first and find out if you can stand her voice. I know a guy who married a paraplegic girl, so physiological disabilities mean nothing when there is chemistry.<br /><br />I hope you appreciate my womanly view. I only give it because I know you are a kind, gentle giant who is intelligent, hardworking and with a certain bearish, self-effacing charm. There is someone for everyone, my Mom used to say.Jane Everharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04718754582768506774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7199217912101324196.post-37936479745734582702011-02-21T20:51:49.771-05:002011-02-21T20:51:49.771-05:00Who is Bret Tallman and why is he calling me arrog...Who is Bret Tallman and why is he calling me arrogant? This is why I never blog. It's such a waste of time and you have to tolerate insults from people you wouldn't want to be in the same room with. <br /><br />Of course the girl was smart and courageous. A lesser person would have sat there through the whole pointless meal and tried to make polite chitchat. Instead, she got up, offered to pay for her tea and left with, apparently, no explanation. A time saver. Why should she explain anything when she knew she would never see Bill again? I, not being as courageous, probably would have remembered I had a dental appointment at 7:15! He: On a Saturday? Unarrogant: Well, my dentist often works nights...<br /><br />The longest paragraph in Bill's description of this sad date is not about the girl or what she looked like or what she was wearing but Bill's taste in wines. I would deduce from that, Sherlock, that pleasing milady was not as important to him as what he imbibes. Not an auspicious characteristic. <br /><br />And what makes you think she's a dingbat, Creepo? That is such a male chauvinist piggo thing to say. This is a girl who went to Johns Hopkins and has two Masters degrees. Women are always "dingbats." or some such putdown, to guys who can't score. I bet Creepo isn't getting any better dates than you are and it's obvious why. His dislike of women comes through. (Well then, try some other gender.)Jane Everharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04718754582768506774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7199217912101324196.post-49400346991295535692011-02-21T17:24:20.283-05:002011-02-21T17:24:20.283-05:00Jane, I think I was sensitive to her values, withi...Jane, I think I was sensitive to her values, within reason. For example, I had wine rather than beer to make a better impression. And there's no way the weirdness of her voice was just nerves -- it was WAY weirder than that.<br /><br />And I was willing to spend $80 on a date that I had already decided wasn't going to lead to a second date because I figured it MIGHT be up to her standards. And I found a French restaurant, though I don't particularly like French food, just to make her happy.<br /><br />So I was accommodating her in many ways.<br /><br />-- BillBillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07798060265728448086noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7199217912101324196.post-88380989372925494012011-02-21T17:15:07.331-05:002011-02-21T17:15:07.331-05:00Putting aside Jane9Ev's truly arrogant assumpt...Putting aside Jane9Ev's truly arrogant assumption that you showed no interest in this woman's feelings (not to mention confusing being rude with being smart and courageous) dday76 has a point... the profile thing should've told you what a spoiled dingbat this lady was.Bret Tallmanhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01971996209744717530noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7199217912101324196.post-68351366820891583372011-02-21T14:31:20.961-05:002011-02-21T14:31:20.961-05:00It's nice to hear what a bad date is like from...It's nice to hear what a bad date is like from a man's point of view. Personally, I think it was smart and courageous of her to take off soon after you met. Maybe that's why those 5-minute dating scenarios are good--you can pretty much tell quickly if there's any chemistry. But Bill, maybe in the future you could worry less about the kind of wine you can or can't get and more about he comfort of the lady. Show some interest in her, her feelings, her point of view. Could the voice have been due to nerves? I would have been curious to find out the story of the Voice. Good luck in the future.Jane Everharthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04718754582768506774noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7199217912101324196.post-36783152687772028342011-02-21T13:51:08.836-05:002011-02-21T13:51:08.836-05:00I think the key line here is, "For some reaso...I think the key line here is, "For some reason, neither of us canceled the date."<br />When she changed her profile to bash (you) a stranger for a phone call leading up to a date is a huge red flag. That should have been the end of that.<br />Spending over $100 for a first date is nonsense as well. You barely even met the person. $50 maybe tops, but focus on the conversation not the check.<br />Better to call this "long list of what not to do in attempting to start a relationships."dday76https://www.blogger.com/profile/17051631271206276100noreply@blogger.com